You may be kind to others and a great guy or girl to be with but you may neglect being kind to yourself, putting yourself down at every chance letting that inner voice ridicule, criticize and break you down at every opportunity. You probably are like most people not realizing that it is important to be kind to yourself using the rule of thumb that if you cannot love yourself first, how can you love others? Don’t think for one moment that this is a stupid, immature notion, because it is not…
You’re Criticizing Thoughts…
While you are in deep thought you may be criticizing yourself, and think about that for a bit…., have you lately been calling yourself fat, an idiot, stupid, ugly, crazy, or any manner of negative things? Yes you have, and it has happened in some circumstance or another! It’s time to turn this negativity around, and start being kind to yourself from now onwards, because after all, how are you going to be comfortable with others, if you are not comfortable with yourself?
What not apply these 6 simple tips to start being nice to You,and when you do, you will find that the world starts becoming a wonderful place, and life starts feeling so much more fun too…
Start by being acutely aware of what you are thinking, and monitor those negative thoughts, crushing them immediately with positive ones. Talk to yourself, and your inner voice to start being kind to yourself, and focus on your good traits, deeds, knowledge, skills, and accomplishments.
Make a conscious effort to be more positive about everything, from your appearance to your skills and looks, and yes…tell yourself ‘I love you’ although you may think it sounds silly. Say this in front of a mirror for the best results, and you will find that you will immediately start feeling happier and warm inside. Go on try it!
Try your best to do something you enjoy doing every day and don’t ignore rewarding yourself often as well. In our stressful lifestyles we can end up being too busy to reward ourselves with our favorite foods, an enjoyable activity or outing, and sometimes this can happen for days or even weeks…. That’s bad!
Start being kind to yourself by setting aside some ME time for those rewarding fun activities, and do it often and with someone you care about, remembering life is but fleeting.. so don’t always plan it…just do it! Make some room in your life to start having fun, and deeply enjoying every moment of it. Life will start getting better…
It is important to surround yourself with positive like-minded people if you want to start being kind to yourself, and that means avoiding those that are always breaking you down. These negative people will tear you down, and criticize everything about you… from your appearance to your skills, your actions, or activities.
Keep a record of the good things you know about yourself, like how skilled you are at certain tasks, how grateful and friendly you are as a person, how helpful you are, how beautiful you are and how important you are. You are such a great cook…great worker, such a friendly person, so good looking… Yes I am!
Don’t be reluctant to compliment yourself often, and don’t feel that this is conceited either. Being kind to yourself means listing all your virtues and showing gratitude for these too. When you tell yourself in the mirror ‘I love you’ also say I am fantastic too!
So how about starting being kind to yourself and practicing gratitude , taking me time, enjoying life’s rewards and when you do so you will start being happier with everything around you. This will attract not only positive loving people to you but good things from the universe and God as well. Whether you are a guy or a girl….You are an Angel so start being kind to yourself!
When you feel like you are carrying the world on your shoulders plug in to deep meditation music and feel how it calms you down,puts you back in control, and soothes your soul… If you are passionate about music you will probably listen to all types and genres but the one you really need when life feels rushed and pressurised is deep meditation music which can easily be found online. Everyone experiences music differently , and as humans we can also make sounds and even music through whistling humming or singing our own little made up tunes. Music makes us feel in harmony, it stimulates and uplifts us and allows us to express our feelings.
Smartphones allow us to listen to music anywhere anytime and most people have an album or two of their favorite songs which they will listen to while jogging, travelling, waiting or while relaxing. Deep meditation music goes one better than the average tunes because it massages your subconscious smoothes out your troubled mind and on a physical level reduces blood pressure anxiety and can even help you forget those aches and pains.
Everyday we are bombarded with raucous noise and distractions , loud unpleasant sounds from noise pollution all around us and your mind can become emotionally overloaded by it all. Plug into deep meditation music for a little while and experience how effectively will soothe that all away. Life in the 21st century is considered fast-paced because of many new technological advancements, and whether you agree or not these have added more stress to our lives than ever before. Stress causes upheaval in your life because you can’t focus on your work properly often suffering from emotional overload feeling unmotivated, burnt out and unhappy.
Believe me and try it yourself that it truly is easy to combat this all by taking time out to listen to calming deep meditation music.
Through listening to the deep meditation music, the brain creates new neural pathways and increases the potential of your mind reducing stress levels. There are many different types of meditation music but you will find certain types you will prefer over others. Deep calm breathing practices while listening to yo0ur favorite meditation music will work wonders.
Meditation music has been proven to benefit people even babies and children and in addition to this many therapists and specialists recommend deep meditation music as a form of therapy to address anxiety, emotional problems and even help for stress-related illnesses. You should try using this very effective tool, and there is no doubt you will be exceptionally amazed at the results.
In conclusion, if you are suffering from extreme stress, anxiety, have anger issues or if you’re always unfocused, feel burnt out, and demotivated try listening to deep meditation music. You will find how it relaxes your mind, as well as your soul, gives you that inner peace, and puts you pack in control of your life.
Visit This Deep Meditation Musicstore to start with and invest in music that will calm your soul and help you live better
How to Deal with Anxiety and Manage Anxiety Causing Situations.
How to Deal with Anxiety By Knowing What is Causing it in the First Place.
Feeling Anxious Apprehensive Scared? Use Smart Tactics and learn how to Deal with Anxiety. You know what makes you anxious and stressed, and using this to your benefit will help you deal with anxiety in your life. Simple things like your monthly budget, doing a tax return or a special upcoming family dinner can all make you feel anxious. They may seem like small pressures, but for a perfectionist for example, a task must be perfectly executed and successful otherwise they will feel robbed. Money problems are the biggest cause of anxiety today so learn how to deal with anxiety by managing your finances properly for a start!
There are easy ways to deal with anxiety effectively so that you stay in full control of your life which will give you peace of mind. Time management is another way to manage tasks that are current, upcoming and completed so when you are managing your time properly you will feel less stressed and anxious.. When stuff is written down on paper it looks less daunting and you can allocate times for everything that needs to be done and stick to them.
Changing situations making you feel anxious to your benefit when possible for how to deal with anxiety is another way to calm down your stress. For example if you were having special family around for dinner, change this to go and eat in a restaurant so someone else does all the catering for you…problem solved! Sometimes there is a flip side to a situation to simplify it for you so that you do not have to worry about it anymore.
Avoiding Anxiety Causing Situations.
Learn to say no, and avoid stress causing situations that can be avoided. If you feel pressured by certain people then to deal with anxiety this causes you, simply avoid them. If you have claustrophobia avoid small places that make you feel confined. You know what causes you anxiety so all you need to do is make some practical firm changes to deal with these fears..
For many people careers and the workplace cause high levels of stress and anxiety but there are even ways around this. Understand that you can only do so much and let your supervisor know this as well. Ask for help, arrange time off, or worse case scenario seek alternative employment and once you get it simply hand in your notice.
Be In control of your life for a change!
It is as easy as the sentence says take control of your life because you own it. Not other people, not your employer, no one. Your life is unique your destiny is unique and the role you play in the people around you is important even though you may not be completely aware of what that is. It helps talking out your anxiety and fears with others for getting unique viewpoints, finding solutions to problems, and venting your stress. Don’t always unload on the same person though otherwise they may start stressing for your part.
You shouldn’t be. You see, everyone uses hedonism wrong. That’s correct, nobody actually knows the real definition of hedonism.
Hedonism is not mindless self indulgence, and yet most people use it that way. No, that’s called gluttony. In the sexual realm it would be libertinism.
Here’s another shocker, hedonism takes a lot of discipline. Yes, that’s right, you have to have a lot of mindfulness and resiliency to be properly hedonistic.
“You’re not serious, right?”
If I’m lying, I’m dying, because a great deal of my life has been devoted to learning how to be a good hedonist. Don’t get it confused, that doesn’t mean I throw grilled cheese sandwiches down my throat all day long, ruthlessly run through women like sticks of gum or indulge in every drug known to man with reckless abandon.
This is not what hedonism means…
You know why?
Despite all the temporary highs you feel, the lows are awful. Consistent happiness is the best goal for most of us, including me. What is the definition of hedonism?
The idea that pleasure or happiness is the highest good in life. That’s paraphrased slightly from Merriam-Webster.
Or, take this version from Dictionary.com
“Devotion to pleasure as a way of life.”
Sound like gluttony? It’s tempting to say that, but it’s not. The word itself has gotten a bad rap in our current social environment. When you say someone is a hedonist, you think of an out of control, reckless human being who destroy’s everything in his path,
That’s not what it’s all about. True hedonism requires restraint and targeted indulgence, because you can not feel consistent pleasure or consistent empowerment with mindless indulgence.
It’s actually two-fold. Let’s start with the most obvious,
Feeling Pleasure- The ability to feel pleasure correlates to the sensitivity of certain neurotransmitters in your brain. Namely, you have dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin as the big three. Adrenaline and norepinephrine can also give pleasure; although, they drive you to act under stress. They are the “fight or flight,” neurotransmitters. This means that consistent physical, emotional and mental pleasure depends on being sensitive to the big three neurotransmitters.
Feeling Empowered- Yes, the other necessary side of true happiness. Pure fun doesn’t leave any time or energy left for achievement. It leaves no room for purposeful asceticism or overcoming of adversity. Those things are NECCESARY, not optional, for a maximally happy life. I’ve never been truly happy when I wasn’t working hard to overcome some struggle. Likewise, the happiest periods of my life involved stress, a high work-load and some uncertainty.
Here’s a bit more detail.
The Pitfalls Of Pleasure.
Pleasure isn’t just pleasure, as it turns out. You see, pleasure is relative to your ability to experience it.
Your own pleasures are determined by how pleasurable it feels to you. What is intensely pleasurable for one may not be for another.
Your brain releases a certain amount of dopamine or serotonin for most activities that feel good. That’s everything from feeling the sunlight on your face, to getting a nice cool drink of water to talking to that cutie in your classroom.
Those are all natural rewards that your brain goes toward. This means that anything which correlates to surviving and thriving: such as sex, food, water, shelter, community, power, prestige, possessions, words of endearment and anything else related to this releases dopamine.
Dopamine directs you toward those things it believes will be rewarding. In this way, it is not actually released as the reward chemical itself. Rather, it builds up anticipation and excitement for those activities, people and experiences that are generally pleasurable.
Molecules of dopamine act as communicators that relay messages between the synapses (spaces) between neurons in the brain. In order to feel the effects of dopamine fully, you have to have healthy, sensitive receptors.
Cool, but there’s a big problem.
Many people don’t have healthy or sensitive dopamine levels. There’s one primary reason for this. They’ve “fried,” many of the receptors that receive signals from the dopamine molecules. That means the strength of the message they receive is less than it would be otherwise.
You see, certain activities and forms of stimulation release FAR more dopamine than others. A quick conversation with a friend releases a moderate amount, a drink of water if you’re not thirty, only a little, sex with a woman whom you’ve lusted after for awhile release A LOT of dopamine.
Even the dream hottie scenario would be fine, but this is the modern age where we have a little something called internet porn. Internet porn allows a cheap, fast and endlessly novel barrage of every sexual scenario you could ever imagine right at your fingertips.
This constant arousal due to high volume scenes with literally hundreds to thousands of different people doing different things is completely unnatural.
Even alpha male gorilla’s didn’t get the type of action your brain is tricked into thinking it’s getting.
How do I know?
This little guy, right here.
Well, unfortunately, I’ve been there. I’ve had days at a time, where basically all I did was masturbate to internet pornography. There’s no need to get into the nitty, gritty details of exactly what that looks like (not pretty, that’s for sure).
Here’s the takeaway, the dopamine release from constant internet pornography was so overwhelming that it became all I wanted to do. Nothing else in life compared to the thrill of looking for a new, novel scene.
My dopamine receptors became more insensitive. I know this, because the more natural rewards like talking to other girls didn’t seem very appealing.
Actually getting off my ass and making something of myself didn’t matter. No, as long as I had my laptop and endless digital fantasy, it was good enough for me.
That is a personal example I’m familiar with, but countless examples abound. Many of you have known drug addicts, and so have I.
The way a drug addict romantically self-destructs is something you never forget. At the least, the way they escape into their precious numbing agent says it all. It can cost them everything; yet, it’s all they care about.
I personally saw someone close to me do this with weed.
Weed addiction isn’t very common, but this was an undeniable exception. This person HAD to smoke it virtually every day. Worse yet, He knew he had a problem, but it took years before he came to terms with it.
There were other issues in his life that were obvious. Social anxiety and generalized depression plagued him.
The cycle was endless. I’m sure he often thought about improving his habits, and finding a way out of addiction. But just like me with the porn, lighting up was the only thing he had enough desire to do. Everything else more healthy and sustainable seemed flat to him.
Instead of finding another way, he just used weed as his crutch, all the while frying his dopamine sensitivity even further.
People say you can’t get addicted to either porn or weed. That’s bullshit on both counts. You can get addicted to anything which has a sharp enough dopamine spike.
Why else do people become compulsive shoppers (for clothes they don’t need) or compulsive kleptomaniacs?
Because there is a rush of dopamine in the activity that’s great enough to induce dependency.
Dependency is addiction, plain and simple. It doesn’t matter if the mechanism in the brain isn’t quite the same.
Addicted to rush of dopamine from activity= addiction, period.
So as you can see, managing dopamine release is CRITICALLY important.
Am I saying you can’t ever smoke weed or look at an explicit video?
It all depends on the way you use it. If it only means a small vice from time to time, you’re fine.
But do you need it every single week, twice a week, every single day?
You gotta problem, buddy. In those cases, you owe it to yourself to stop it completely. Don’t ever do it again, because your brain has a permanent fixation to it.
It’s okay though. You simply need strategies and ways to get yourself out of the hole.
If you’re already out, or you were never there in the first place, you need strategies to navigate the many pitfalls of endless indulgence.
That’s what I’m here for. The friendly friend who wants you to enjoy life, all the time.
Not just when you’re in the throes of a chemical dungeon. So, with some of that negativity out of the way. Here are eight ways to manage dopamine with a short explanation.
Avoid super processed and ultra decadent food (most of the time)- A burger or fries here and there is fine. An occasional milkshake is cool. litres of cola every day? Stop in the name of your waste line and your sanity.
Don’t drink calories- Water, tea and coffee 90% of the time. An alcoholic beverage or soda is fine, in moderation. Don’t make it a regular habit.
Take key vitamins- Vitamin D3, Magnesium (citrate, not oxide or sulfate), Omega-3’s in fish oil are the big three. Other useful vitamins include: NAC, Vitamins B-6 and B-12, and vitamin K2 are other good choices as well.
Avoid excessive masturbation and pornography- Masturbation isn’t unhealthy, but an excessive amount is very taxing on the nervous system and also overloads the reward system a bit. Pornography is especially dangerous in this regard. Avoid completely if you are prone to overusing anything. Keep it to once a month (yes, a month) if you’re not.
Regularly fantasize about a cool lifestyle you are moving toward- Also, have goals you think about everyday. This kind of fantasizing produces a healthy dose of dopamine on demand. Try it today.
Exercise intensely on a regular basis- That means enough exercise that your body gets used to the process without becoming injured or burned out. 3x a week to 4x a week has become the standard for a reason, it works. Do resistance training and cardio.
Get regular physical exercise through movement- This means don’t stay still too long. Also, quit sitting all day if you can. If not, get up frequently and move around a bit. Find times to take walks, work in the garden, take the stairs etc.
Regular social interaction- Make it a point to have both regular social interaction with loved ones (GF, BF, family, friends) and acquaintances and strangers. You may be an introvert, and so this is not natural. Start with only a tiny bit more than you do now and work up slowly.
I’ve found those are the most basic ways to ensure that you get both a healthy amount of dopamine, and that your receptors are fresh enough so you feel good when you do these things.
Again, there is some individual experimentation required. For example, an honorable mention for me is music. I have to have some amount of music in my life to remain happy (addicted, hmmm?).
It’s true though. If I don’t focus properly, my creativity is off, and I don’t socialize well if I go too long without listening to music. Music is a very pleasurable activity in and of itself, and it definitely hits all the dopamine receptors.
Take time to explore all different types of hobbies and see what seems to make you feel good.
For example, I had no idea that I loved House music and Reggaeton, but I do. The high energy vibes always make me feel better.
Again, you never know what makes you tick until you try it. So don’t be afraid to experiment!
But what about dopamine’s chill cousin serotonin. Don’t worry, papa bird’s gonna feed ya.
Now, here are five ways that help manage your serotonin levels:
Sunlight- It’s obvious, but so is everything that’s effective. There’s a reason Seattle produced grunge bands. You don’t feel as calm and collected when you lack sunlight. Seasonal Depressive Disorder is a huge issue many of you suffer from. I did too, until I discovered supplementing with vitamin d3. That helps, but to get the full gooey serotonin effect, you have to get sunlight, just don’t burn! a few minutes is all you need for profound effects.
Limit sugar and excessive carbohydrates- Too much sugar and refined carbs causes a dependency on these foods to maintain healthy serotonin levels. There’s a complicated physiological reason why this is, that’s beyond the scope of this article. But trust me, you feel depressed and moody until you have that little something sweet. Eat carbs, but eat a moderate amount (between 50 grams and 150 grams a day) and you’ll be good.
Eat enough Fat, Protein, Fiber and veggies- Yes, fat is not bad. In fact, it’s good. There are still some debates about the exact type and amount of fat to eat. But, just know that the fat scare of the 80’s took it way over the top. Eat your avocadoes, nuts, and olive oil. And yes, eat some amount of saturated fat. It turns out you need some dietary cholesterol to produce proper sex hormones (i.e. testeosterone) that are important for both sexes. Fiber produces serotonin in the gut track of your digestive system.
Touch someone- Only with their full permission, of course. Any type of physical touch works, from the gentle to the erotic. If you don’t have people you can touch in your life, I’d work on that. You can also go to a massage parlor once a month if you have the cash. Then you kill two birds with one stone. You loosen your body up, and you get that nice boost in serotonin. Can you say twofer?
Meditate and practice mindfulness- This is more than sitting in an uncomfortable position for an hour. The exact position isn’t as important as the basic idea. Put yourself in a calm setting, such as a bedroom or quite study area, and begin to get into your body. You can be seated or standing, but make sure you’re not so comfortable you risk falling asleep (happened to me, whoops!). Start by simply observing your thoughts, the way they come and go, how they appear, then disappear. You gain a sense of acceptance for your monkey brain.
Oxytocin is easy to achieve, hug someone. That’s all there is to that one. Regular affectionate touch is all you need. So yes, you should hug your Mom when you see her.
Those are some of the best ways I personally manage my serotonin and dopamine, and oxytocin. The future posts in this series will get into more specific ways you apply some of these principales to your life. It takes time, because you’re not designed to go toward sustainable levels of anything.
You’re designed to survive and procreate, fight off intruders and not fall off cliffs.
The proof of that is in how we human beings continue to act. Think about how many people act day to day.
Does it look like most people carefully consider how to manage their behavior.
If they’re considering it, they’re not doing a good job.
Obviously, you need a totally new game plan for the 21ist century. That’s why I do what I do.
Because nobody ever teaches you any of this stuff.
There were never any classes in thinking to increase pleasure or happiness.
Your parents never swatted your hand and told you to mind your dopamine levels.
There was never a standardized test on serotonin in school. Nope, instead you learned Shakespearean sonnets.
I’m guessing you don’t remember it now.
No, this is stuff we all have to learn the hard way, so to speak. Thank God for the internet, huh?
Better men than me have already begun great work similar to this information. Take a look at them if you want to learn more. They are idols to me, and they’ve been a God send for folks such as me.
It may seem like a weird place to start, but it’s necessary. You can’t begin to live a happier, productive life without this knowledge as a base. When in doubt, always come back to these principals. They’ll never lead you wrong. That’s after years of trail and effort on my part.
That’s all for today,
Keep on Keeping on!
P.S. Next up on the schedule, we’ll talk more in depth about slow, gentle movement and hard training. It’ll include different methods for achieving differing results. Everything from what time of day to work out, how long and hard to workout, and how to listen to your body. Fun stuff!
P.S.S. Here’s a secret weapon to take your happiness game up a notch or two. It’s a little compound called Phenibut. Think alcohol without all the stumbling around like an idiot and splitting headaches. It’s like a secret weapon for days when you’re struggling, or when you want to feel like a calm, collected Don Juan. You’ll be smoother than a babies bottom with the chicas, Or chicos for that matter, works for ladies too.