Teenage Stress- Help for Parents to Cope.
It is not always exactly when the clock strikes ‘Teen’ that your teenage son or daughter undergoes an immediate change into the stormy years that can make any parents a raging nightmare.
Wasn’t it just yesterday you were tucking in your sweet child to read them a bedtime story? Now they are sullen, rebellious, stubborn teenagers, and not the loving sweet child you remember…
Parents suffer a lot of teenage stress during these years of development ranging from mood swings, explosive temper tantrums, stubbornness, and disobedience. These years normally begin around the ages of 12 and thirteen and can even carry on through right up until they are 20.
You need to understand that during these teenage years massive changes happen in our bodies, from brain development spurts, to physical body developing into adulthood. We all go through these stages, and it’s easy to forget them once you are a full blown adult.
As a parent your authority is going to be constantly challenged and you as the parent suffer the teenage stress placed on you, which can make you live on the edge of erupting into a raging multiple toothed monster; or at least that is how your teenage son and daughter see you.
Nothing makes a parent more annoyed than the favorite saying of ‘Whatever’ in a raised voice, accompanied by the slamming of the bedroom door. Adding to your teenage stress is the pressure that has now been placed on your teenager by their peer groups to conform. Their freedom is at stake, their very independence and you are standing in their way.
We all want what is best for our children to protect them from the danger and evils of this world but teenagers do not seem to understand nor care about what YOU want after all.
Dealing With teenage Stress Sensibly.
It’s a hard time for parents during teenage years because this is the time they will be experimenting and the dangers of drugs and reckless behaviors are common. To top it all the anxiety, risk of depression, and feeling of not fitting in with peer groups can make a teenage do drastic even life threatening things.
As a parent you can help lessen your teenage stress by helping them through this difficult time. This is where you need truckloads of patience, compassion, the need to let go a little and setting of acceptable boundaries that are easy enough to cope with for them without making them feel caged.
Here are some tips you can keep in your teenage management toolkit:
- Don’t answer aggression with aggression, but rather understanding and gently with an explanation for your reasons for a decision that has caused the problem.
- Keep an open ear and listen to their requests wants, and needs and try and accommodate with acceptable boundaries.
- Give them space and let them know you are doing so, and with your generosity of giving them this freedom set some simple rules of keeping communication wide open.
- Don’t be clingy otherwise you will push them away for good. This is a time they do not want to be babied, nor allow you to show any love to them in public, due to peer pressure.
- Discuss having relationship and family time together on their terms which will be open house for you to subtly renew your bonds. Make it sound like it is their decision to want this time together too.
- Don’t be judgmental when they express their feelings, ideas and fashion but make suggestions if you like and steer them as if it was their idea just like in point 5 above.
- Don’t panic when they want to discuss what you deem are taboo subjects like sex and drugs. They are finding out about these things from their friends but it does not mean they are doing them. Let them know your lines of communication are open for when THEY want to talk to you about something.
- Respect their privacy and while no one is around show them you love them with a hug and even tell them so.
- Honesty and openness respect and helping them build up self confidence are important. Teach them how to drive, work with money, and allow them responsibilities which will make them feel fulfilled and grown up.
Teenage stress is a time all parents with children will have to endure the same going for teachers at schools, and the rest of the family to boot. There are some good guidelines and parenting books that can help you through this difficult time, but you as a parent know your child better than anyone else.
Just remember that your shortcomings as a parent are going to be magnified to them during these years plus comparisons made by their peers which can make them either feel robbed or smugly happy that you are the better parents!